Topeka or Bust

It all began with an email from me- The subject line read, Fiesta Topeka, and more…

Hey gang, clear your calendars for the first week of July. I’ve got 5 passes for us to attend multiple events in Topeka, Kansas. Dates are June 28th - July 5th. I’ll handle the rooms, and arrange all the flights.

Hank replied immediately, saying, “Hell yeah! That’s my dawg! Forget the rooms, and my plane ticket. I’ll have us something to stay in, and me and Jean-Paul will meet y’all there.”

Then came both Beau and Grace’s replies- Beau’s was just a, “😎”. Grace was a little bit more discerning. She needed the particulars, so I sent her the full itinerary: It started with the Huff n’ Puff Hot Air Balloon Festival, Fiesta Topeka ran the entire week, and finally the Spirit of Kansas Blues Festival would close us out on the Fourth.

And none of us questioned Hank’s offer — we’ve all learned by now that if Hank says he’ll handle it, it’ll be handled one way or another. It’s no surprise that Jean-Paul would be with him either, as they’d been virtually inseparable of late.

The plan was for Beau to fly into Atlanta from Portugal. Then Grace and I would meet him in ATL, and fly to Topeka together. Only, it didn’t work out that way at all…

I’d set everything up in March. But by June, Atlanta had become a hotbed of protests — some evolving into full scale riots. ICE now has over 3,000 Federal Agents stationed in Fulton County, and have all but commandeered Hartsfield Airport. So I wasn’t surprised when I got the call from Grace.

“Hey what’s up, Grace? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“MJ, I don’t know what’s going on,” Grace said. “I can’t get to the airport, all the roads are blocked or barricaded.” She didn’t sound like she was panicking, necessarily, but there was definitely worry in her tone.

“Okay, I’m just coming into McDonough. Do you think you can get to the Tanger Outlets?”

I heard a, “Lord help us,” then the engine reve. And then Grace said, “Yes, I’m on 85-South now.”

She was parked by the Steak n’ Shake — top down, and sippin’ a green smoothie when I pulled up. After a 5 minute discussion on who’s ride to take, we were off in my old Chevy. I’d won, not because her Fiat had full coverage and my old Chevy didn’t. But because I’d chosen scissors to her paper, and then rock to her scissors.

“What are we going to do about Beau?” Grace asked. “Doesn’t his flight arrive in an hour?”

“Ah, Beau is ahead of us,” I said, shaking my head. “He saw this coming and changed his ticket to Nashville before he took off from Lisbon.”

I merged onto I-75N, then 675, so we were able to skirt around the east side of the city avoiding the problem areas. By the time we merged back onto I-75N, Grace had shucked her pink flats and had her pretty pink toes on my windshield.

“Grace dear, will you see if there are any flights from Nashville to Topeka?”

“That’s what I’m doing now, dear,” she said with a wink. “But it’s not looking good. There’s nothing to Kansas, looks like the closest we can get is, St Louis. And that flight doesn’t leave until lunch tomorrow.”

“Well that’s no good, we’d just as well drive it ourselves in that case.”

“Yippie!” Grace squealed, “Road trip!”

~

My phone started ringing as we entered Berry Field airport to pick up Beau. Grace was already on the phone with him, he’d arrived over an hour ago and had been passing the time at 3 Casks. And he was already making his way to the international arrivals and departures gate.

“Hey Hank, what’s up?”

“Dawg, you mean to tell me y’all ain’t gone make it in tonight?” Hank was excited, and I couldn’t get a word in. “But the Huff ‘n Puff Hot Air Balloon Festival is tomorrow! How are we gone commandeer another Hot Air Balloon, if’n y’all ain’t even here? We’ve got a reputation to uphold, homie.”

“Okay I see you,” Grace said to Beau on the phone. “MJ, get over. Beau’s standing there at Gate B. See’em?”

“Yes, I got’em Grace. Hank, can I call you back? Now’s not the best time.”

Hank said, “No problem dawg,” and hung up.

I merged and came to a stop in front of Gate B. Beau tossed his bags into the back — Grace scooted to the middle to give him room, and we were off again.

“How was your flight?”

“Long,” Beau said. “I just about cashed in my ticket and stayed in Lisbon. I’m afraid things are gonna get worse here, before they get any better.”

“Lord, I hope not,” Grace said and bowed her head. So we rode in silence for the next few minutes.

After I glanced over and saw her eyes open, I called Hank back and told him that we weren’t going to make it for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. And I asked him to try not to get into too much trouble, before we did arrive.

We were currently over ten hours from Topeka, and that was without any stops. So there was no sense in killing ourselves to get there. It was 6pm, and all three of us had been traveling either by auto or plane since early morning. Both Grace and Beau quickly seconded my motion to, “drive a couple hours then stop and get some rest,” so we did.

After a quick bite at the Waffle House across the street, we all retired to our separate rooms at the Holiday Inn Express in Mount Vernon, Missouri.

~

I heard Blanca come to life — there was no mistaking the sound of her 350 cubic inch V8. But I must’ve been sleeping good, because it wasn’t until she backed out of her spot that I opened my eyes.

“Blanca!”

I was out of the bed and outside in a second, but she was already pulling out onto the highway — lights off and tires squealing. She slowed just enough not to take out the next stop sign, then disappeared around the corner.

I ran back inside and grabbed my phone — her keys were laying right there beside it. God I hope they didn’t bust her window. Surely I’d have heard that. I know she was locked, I checked twice. They must’ve used a jimmy.

I opened the app with her tracker — she’d slowed now, 40mph. And it looked like she was heading northwest. I pulled my pants on and ran down to Beau’s room.

BANG, BANG, BANG. “Beau, wake up,” I hollered. “Blanca’s been trucknapped!”

Grace came out of her room first, hair so wild I actually did a double take and giggled despite the dire situation. She scowled and disappeared back inside.

Beau opened his door with a big yawn, “Blanca?” he asked.

“Someone has stolen my truck,” I clarified, just as Grace returned with a pink scarf around her head.

My phone dinged, so I checked her location. “She’s stopped,” I said and dashed back towards my room to get dressed. The gang followed, bewildered.

“MJ,” Grace said as she entered my room behind me. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t we call the Police?”

“I’m going after her,” I said, pulling on my shoes. “Hank has taught me better than to call the Police in situations like this.” I checked the phone again, “she’s only six miles away, and still parked.”

“You’ve got a tracking device on an 87’ Custom Deluxe?” Beau asked as he entered.

“Yup,” I said with a shrug. “Hank’s idea.”

I opened the Uber app and we were in luck, there was a car just two minutes away. So I booked it, and told them to get dressed if they were coming. Both disappeared and were back again before I knew it. And in another five minutes we were headed to 1137 W 5th St.

The Uber driver had been totally fine with dropping us at the end of the block. Actually, now that I think about it, he’d seemed to be rather in a hurry to get out of there. Anyway, I could see the address from the corner. I couldn’t see Blanca, there was an old broken down privacy fence around the property. But I could see the dot blinking on the app, so I knew she was sitting behind that fence.

Grace said, “I wish Hank were here.” Beau and I both looked at her, then each other, and made a silent oath to make sure we didn’t let her down.

Just then a flash of light and sparks flew up into the air, and a puff of black smoke arose from what could only be a fire barrel. So there was at least one person outside with the truck.

“Okay y’all, I’m going in to get a better look,” I told them in a hushed voice. “Just hang here, and let me survey the situation.”

“This is a bad idea, MJ,” Beau said. “If we know where the truck is, maybe we should just call the Police.”

“I just want to get a peek, I’ll be right back,” I said and left before they could protest.

I crept down the sidewalk, moving quickly from shadow to shadow like a tomcat on the prowl. I found a good vantage point behind the trashcans, across the street from the entrance of the property. There was a gate, but it was leaning against the side wall. And there were two men standing around the fire barrel warming their hands. Not that it was cold, but fire barrels just draw ya in, if you know what I mean.

I heard the bearded one say, “This’un a bring a wad of cash, Jimmy’s always looking for square-bodies,” as he slapped his co-conspiritor on the back.

With those words I forgot all about telling Beau and Grace that I was only taking a peek. I rushed across the street and posted up — back to the rickety wood fence wall, but careful not to lean against it. I was now less than twenty feet from Blanca, and the two men — she could probably tell, but the truck thieves were none the wiser.

Beau caught my eye just then, he was waving me down. So I gave him a motion to call the cops by twirling my hand in the air, and then making the call sign. He gave me a thumbs up, and Grace started dialing.

Just then, I heard one of the guys say, “I’mma grab another Natty, you want one?”

The other guy said yeah, but then he started coming towards me. He was no further than five feet from the fence when I heard him unzip and start to relieve himself. Seizing the opportunity I darted from behind the fence and ran towards Blanca, key in hand.

“What the!?” The thief said as he stumbled backwards, mid-piss.

He didn’t have a chance. By the time he had his pants zipped up and was hollering for his buddy, I had Blanca in reverse and backed out into the street! She laid a blackmark on the pavement as we bound forward. Then I locked up the brakes at the stop sign. Grace jumped into the front passenger seat and Beau pushed the door shut as he leaped into the truck bed.

“I thought you were just going to take a peek,” Grace said. “You’ve obviously been spending too much time with Mr Cotton.”

“Well, we got Blanca back didn’t we?”

Grace just beamed a satisfied smile, and said, “Topeka or Bust.”

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